Ah, the Super Bowl. The time we all get together to critique the action on the big screen. I’m talking about the commercials of course. Where puppies and babies rule and more celebrities are seen in a three-hour time span this side of the Oscars. Except I don’t think Lindsey Lohan gets to go to the Oscars.

I was asked to offer up my opinion on one of our local morning shows today and figured, since I’ve done all the work already, why not impose my opinion on even more unsuspecting souls.

The way I approached it was a little different. Instead of simply picking my favs and least favs, I tried to dig a little deeper as to why I did or didn’t like them. Overall, I thought the commercials were some of the best as a whole. I realized this when trying to narrow down my list of those I liked. There were moving spots, humorous spots, and just plain well-produced spots. So for the sake of conversation, here is my Super Bowl Commercials Review:

TOP PICKS

GOING BIG
Mophie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuVsf_hE7gM

If you are going to spend $4.5-million to run a spot in the Super Bowl, go big on the production. Mophie did. They had it all, and when the hyenas entered the news set, I was sold. It’s a spot that you want to watch every time it comes on just to see what you missed the last time you watched it. And it had a really good payoff.

BEST TURNAROUND OF A CAMPAIGN
NFL – Domestic violence

The 911phone call was amazing because you were in the head of the 911 operator. And then when it turned and the light bulb went off in his head, it went off in yours as well. So much better than actors acting like they are emotional. That’s just never been believable to me, and my wife has never liked those spots from the beginning. Even pointing out how she doesn’t like them every time they play. A difficult subject, well-executed that caused an emotional response from the audience.

MOST MOVING
Dove – What makes a man stronger (“Daddy”)

Any father watching this recognized about 90% of those moments and silently watched the spot to the end. Dove has done a really good job of making men’s care products macho in a non-Axe kind of way. Dove is like Axe’s wise father.

OTHER GREAT ONES

BMW i3 – Smartest

Bud Light, Up for Anything – Who doesn’t want to play human Pacman?

Snickers – Funniest for sure

Avocados from Mexico – Just plain funny

Proctor & Gamble, Like a Girl – It was a promo earlier in the year, so technically it doesn’t really count as a Super Bowl spot, but this was certainly a BIG favorite of mine. And I’m a dude.

WORST PICKS

MOST ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER
Budweiser – Lost Puppy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAsjRRMMg_Q

There. I said it. America’s favorite spot made my worst list. I know that I am probably in a huge minority, but I thought it failed. When that spot finished, there was saccharin dripping out of my TV. I felt like a giant container of Mrs. Butterworth’s had been unloaded with a pumper truck right into my living room. It’s always risky to try and follow up a nice, successful commercial with Version 2. And it was a sweet moving little lost puppy effort. But they lost me with the wolf. That’s just a little too far.

TOO FORMULAIC/NO CONNECTION
Toyota Camry – The Bold

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjUfygo5mzw

Total respect to Amy Purdy and her story. But there’s no connection to Camry. The Formula: Moving story and awesome footage of a paralympic athlete + great verbiage read by a historic figure + car company logo at the end. Amy is bold. Muhammad Ali is bold. Toyota Camry? If I had to describe the Camry in one word, it would take a while to get to “Bold.”

RUNAWAY WORST SPOT OF THE DAY
Nationwide – Make Safe Happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKUy-tfrIHY

“Because I died.” Really? There wasn’t a person in my house who wasn’t immediately revolted by this spot. They didn’t turn the corner. They basically just said, “This kid died. Boom!” And then here’s our cheery little female Nationwide voice. Terrible. Just straight up terrible.

DISHONORABLE MENTION

Nissan. With Dad – I’m confused. Dad is a race car driver. His family never goes to the track to watch him race. I think he won and retired. And the kid wants to be like him. I think.

Weathertech, America at Work – We get it. You’re American

Jublia – Can we just say NO to nail fungus ads?